Warning: Spoilers…to anyone who gives a mutant-crap!
Oh X-men….the tried and true MARVEL franchise that has seen its ups (X2-X-men United) and its downs (Wolverine)…and so comes another X-Cow to Milk: First Class. I honestly feel that the third star this movie seems to be getting from many reviews should be X’ed out! (Sorry, last one.)
Onward….The pacing was off putting. It’s started nicely with Magneto and an almost shot for shot homage to the first scene in the original X-Men movie and then you could just feel it go from MAGNETO: ORIGINS to Proff-X and Mystique: ORIGINS. Wait, we need to show Magneto again!! Wait, was there a possible romantic involvement between Charles Xavier and Mystiq—
No time! MORE JAMES BOND MAGNETO!!
This leads me to the A.D.D that these screenwriters had. Remember the development of the intimate relationship between Erik and Mystique? Yea it totally... Oh, look it’s the movie about Moira Taggert and her C.I.A adventure! Oh SHIT! Oliver Platt just died! Who cares? Now it's gone back to the movie about Magneto and Proff X... Ohhh look! A reminder yet again we are trying really hard to emphasize the 60’s—Bah! TRAINING MONTAGE!!! (Which, by the way, looked like the editors got really bored, Final Cut Pro broke that day, and they decided to use Imovies editing capabilities and take full advantage of Comic Book panel Montage wipes. Might as well have thrown in a Star Wars wipe or two.
Note to Filmmakers: Showing superhero kids who have a serious (and I MEAN serious) skin condition just…never...really works. Remember young Hellboy?? That didn’t worked so well…it was just…weird. And now we got a young teenage Mystique. Naked. I’m telling ya it just didn’t feel right.
This isn’t a Michael bay flick! When the underdeveloped getting to know each other, possible romantic involvement scene isn’t fully working (Mystique and Beast), don’t cut to the bending over gratuitous ass shot. (No need, but it was nice. But no need. Butt nice) Especially in a movie that’s also trying super hero hard to give you social commentary. There were some choice lines in this one. “You’re Mutant. You’re beautiful”…or something along those script lines. My favorite was "Be Mutant. Be proud?" Was that how it went? Where was the Mutant Pride Parade scene?
But it was nice… sorry. Wow ..hmmm...Mystique was REALLY horny..
In the end though …Everything was really ok…
… because of Wolverine's “ GO FUCK YOURSELF”
Nuff’ said.
P.S: I cringed everytime Kevin Bacon put on Magnetos Helmet. He just …looked so damn silly.
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